Are you looking in the wrong places to blame why you are unhappy?
I remember vividly one conversation I had before I left my banking career.
I was talking with a coach, and after an hour of explaining (ok, lets be honest - complaining!) I announced that it was what it was, and I had no choice.
"You talk like you are trapped", she replied.
For someone who considers herself always up for a challenge, and having grown up watching the Crystal Maze on TV whilst balancing my homework on my lap - the word 'trapped' jarred with me.
If that is how I sounded, then that is what I must be allowing.
I had made myself trapped.
By 'success' (as I then knew it) - a good salary, title, and role.
By expectations - others and my own.
By fear - a blinding great iceberg of 'getting it wrong'.
It can be an uncomfortable mirror moment when you realise the perpetrator of your complaint is actually you. But it is a moment of complete and utter clarity which thankfully is hard to un-see.
That moment transformed my view of the choices I was making, and was the seed to deciding that I wanted to qualify as a coach.
Facing up to our beliefs and their effects can be an emotional and grounding experience. Whilst the process is not always easy, the very act can hand back power that was long since lost.
Your power to choose.
"Because let’s face it, a trap is only a trap if you don't know about it."
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